Here I ‘am ... laying in bed whilst my daughter sleeps next to me, listening to my friends voice note about yet another date she's been on and getting all the ins and outs of her evening..... and I mean ALL the ins and outs..... the nitty gritty details... where he took her, what they spoke about, how good a kisser he was, the size of his.........you get the drift.
She sounds excited, happy, ALIVE. I’ve discussed this with her plenty of times in regards to what I should do and her response has always been to wait until I'm ready, as right now I have allot happening in my life with the divorce and everything else.
So here I ‘am ..... thinking...... OVER THINKING. When is it the best time to date when you've broken up from a long term relationship.... or in my case broke up after 5 years, in a middle of a divorce while being a first time mum to a 4 months old baby.
Is there a too soon period? Or is there a period at all? Is there a right or wrong answer or am I making this into a much bigger issue than it is? And let's say I started dating, am I going to trust again? Am I going to tip toe around every man I meet after what I’ve been put through? Because the last thing I want to be when I get into a relationship is damaged goods.
I have so many questions but not sure who is the right person for me to ask. A person who is single and enjoying life? Or someone in a relationship? .... My mum?...... ok ok she's definitely not the right person to ask as most likely she'll slap me for even thinking about another man when the one I married fucked right off.
So here's to the ladies out there that's been through a break up (kids or no kids) how long did you wait until you went on a date? Was it hard to trust? Did you ever trust again? Or what was your healing process? Tell me your stories ladies.
I'm not too sure why but I want to be divorced before I even open that door. Then again I’ve never been divorced, so I’m not sure how long the process takes, all I know is, in UK you have to be married at least a year before you can file for divorce. We got married in august 2015. LET THE COUNT DOWN BEGIN.
Plus my daughter takes so much of my time that I don't know when to even find the time to speak with someone....
Anyway, how do people even meet these days? Everyone is on tinder, POF or on some matching sites. ... is this the 2016 dating scene?
On that note.... it's nappy change and feeding time. Until my next blog 💋
Hey beautiful Ghamzeh!
ReplyDeleteHonestly I don't think there is a right time, but God's timing. I believe in his timing completely. I'm not even religious, I'm just spiritual and a persons vibe and energy is everything especially when getting to know them. In my opinion I believe you are doing the right thing by waiting for when you feel you are completely ready. I've never been married or divorced, so I can't speak on that, but what I can say is God has his ways of clearing the turmoil out of a our lives - not everything we wanted was what we needed.
I've been through multiple heartbreaking experiences - been cheated on, lied to, used, you name it! I've been on random dates here and there but I still haven't seen that spark. A lot of my friends use internet dating sites and apps, and from their crazy experiences it has left me too afraid to even go that far! I've even had someone create a catfishing profile with all my pictures and a few details about me on POF! A lot guys (and even some girls) thought they were either dating or getting to know me. Scary shit.
Believe me it's really hard as I'm still learning how to trust again, but through it I've learned that love begins within ourselves. You really do inspire me with your honesty, I know you're going through a lot with your divorce, but your strength truly shows and admire you for it. When the time is right, our Prince Charming's will sweep us off our feet and make Queens out of us!
All the best my love
Troy xxx
Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm not much religious myself but have opened my mind to praying and allowing god to guide me through this journey.
DeleteAmen to our prince charming sweeping us off our feet. I look forward to that day... but in the meantime .... I continue my healing process.
Thank you my love for reaching out xxx